School taught me to have abstracts in my papers

I graduated Summa Cum Laude from what US News reports as the 20^th best school in the United States. This occurred not but two days ago. After three years of college, a year early to save money, I have completed all the proper education that is expected of me or that I really desire. I spent every summer since I graduated from high school working a full time job and had a part-time job throughout college. I am currently a single, unemployed, broke twenty-something. I do not know how many jobs I have applied for since I began my search in September. However, I have written at least 54 cover letters. My current responsibilities are non-existent. My hope is dwindling faster than my bank account, thanks to the generosity of a few relatives via graduation gifts. To be melodramatic, my heart darkens with cynicism as I slowly enter real life. This is an attempt to keep my sanity through some form of work and daily routine. I chronicle the zeitgeist of the 21^st century young male. So, the story begins…